When I was talking to mom the other day, she mentioned that alot of people, especially family members have been asking about me because they noticed I have not written anything in a long time. So first off, let me tell you all, I am very sleep deprived due to Fibromyalgia today but with all the other stuff that is going on.....the stress could have brought it all on. So where to I begin since it has been almost a month since I last wrote. Bear with me as this may be very scattered, but as the title suggests.....there is some good, bad and upcoming things.
The Shade Tree
Anyone who has read my blog knows how excited I was to have gained employment at The Shade Tree. My official first day was April 12 (I think). I was terminated (yes, I have now been fired for the first time) on June 1- yesterday. I was learning through my employment at The Shade Tree that things are very different outside of the Tubman world. Sometimes you don't realize the stuff around you until you're in a similar situation elsewhere. I was working as a Victim Advocate, essentially a case manager for the women at the shelter who were victims of violence....whether it be street violence, gang violence or domestic violence. I would assist with intakes for those coming into the shelter, but mostly did intakes with victims of violence. I facilitated the Healing Support Group- which was getting rave reviews. My group grew from 16 the first time to almost 40 the last time I facilitated it. Because the group was for more than just our victims of violence, I had to be sure not to make it a Domestic Violence Group. We did alot of meditation, learning how to self-soothe, discussing self-care and such. I also completed Victims of Violence Assessments, which went through their current situation all the way back to whether their parents had been abused. One the assessments was done, a case manager was assigned, and those assigned to me then completed a case plan. From there on, I met with them at least once a week to assist in the completion or updating of their case plan.
I realized a lot of things from my short time with this agency. I learned mostly that Tubman truly is a pioneer in the field. I was with Tubman while some of the changes were occurring to make it more client focused. I was working with a woman who was severely traumatized by some abusive actions towards her. Normally a VV Assessment HAD to be done within their first 24 hours in the shelter. I met with this woman multiple times within her first week, but was unable to complete the assessment because she was not emotionally ready. There was even one day she said she was ready, but I told her that I didn't think it would be beneficial to do it at 9pm at night considering she may end up needing support long after my shift was over. We worked through her emotions and got to the point where she was ready- but the whole time I was being asked why this wasn't done- and my answer of she's not emotionally in a place to complete this did not seem acceptable. There were a few different instances of this kind of questioning happened when it came to the way I was working with people. I was normally asked Why I did something, instead of being told, we do it this way or here is some feedback.
I then got written up- which was twofold. One part was that I called in sick and was REALLY ill, but I didn't do it within the time frame the manager liked. I tried calling her but couldn't get a hold of her, so I called a different manager and then left mine a message. I was okay with this part of the write up, because yes I should have left the message earlier. But then as I am reading through the write up, I was also written up for 'Consistently breaking the dress code.' The only times a dress code was brought up was during orientation/first week of training. No one ever approached me to say that what I was wearing was outside of our restrictions, so I was unaware. I made a point to always take notice of what other people were wearing so that I was wearing something similar. I signed the write up initially, but then went back to my manager and told her I didn't agree with the dress code part. We ended up having a meeting with her manager present and everything I was feeling ended up coming out. I was pissed about the dress code thing because when I asked when or how I broke the dress code they were unable to provide me an answer. I explained that if someone would have ever said anything to me, I would have corrected it and made sure not to wear such an item again. (I eventually found out how I broke the dress code when I asked HR about it and explained that I was upset that no one could provide me an answer. Once she told me, I had an Ok moment and thanked her.) During this meeting, I told them that I felt like I was being set up to fail. That I was being criticized instead of being given feedback and that this wasn't working for the communication style I had. We eventually worked through some of this and were able to come to a happy medium with our different communication styles.
How did I get terminated though you ask? I woke up on a Tuesday (first day of work week for me) and had a backache. By that evening, every movement made me cry and my back was burning. I went to Urgent Care and saw an amazing doctor who was able to tell that the tissue around my spine was inflamed causing all this pain. She gave me note to be out of work through that Friday. She verbally told me that if I felt good enough to work, then to go ahead. Well I didn't listen to her at all, and went back to work the next day. I was talking with a co-worker about insurance and health care stuff in Vegas and how it is different and I believe I may have mentioned something about the note from doctor. Well when I was walking back into the building, I slipped on a banana peel (SERIOUSLY I AM NOT KIDDING) and fell. They immediately made me fill our accident report and was giving me directions to see doctor that day (which includes a drug test for any injuries occurring at work). The note got brought up and I kept assuring them that my back hurting was from something else and that I was unable to take the medication prescribed while I was at work.
Well, I got quite the earful regarding being at work when I had this note. I tried explaining that since I didn't receive benefits, I could not afford to miss almost a week of work. Didn't matter, I was told not to come back until Saturday. On Friday, I received a message from HR saying not to come in on Saturday as we needed to have a meeting but that I would be paid for Saturday. I immediately knew I was going to be fired. I had already decided that I was not happy there long before this week happened. I worked on my resignation letter but got lots of feedback about how going there to drop keys and letter off was not a good idea. So I started applying for new positions, while having every intention of resigning if they did not fire me on Tuesday anyways. So I go to work Tuesday morning and everything seems normal. Gave my manager papers from doctor and went to work on some information she needed for a report. I worked at my desk on grant stuff for close to two hours, when she finally asked me to come with her. I get to the conference room and it is me, my immediate manager, Executive Director and security guard. There is a termination letter on table, so I read through it and asked for a pen to sign it. The beginning of a speech was coming, so I interrupted and said that I understood, would go with manager to get my stuff and would be on my way.
Official reason for my termination:
~Lapse in Judgement - for coming to work against Dr. wishes which makes an unsafe situation for the clients and everyone else.
~ Breaking policy - because I didn't follow chain of command and was talking to a different manager about my fall and Dr. note. Funny thing is, that was the only manager in the building when it happened....but oh well.
I can honestly say that these last 20 hours, I have felt more peace than the whole time I was working there. The security guard had to walk me out and he was aware that I had been unsure about the job- so I told him that I had my resignation letter in purse and that obviously I just didn't need it. Also during all this, I decided that it may be time to take a break from social services anyways. I have worked in this field long before I was even an adult. My entire adult life has been devoted to working with people who had multiple barriers and abuse. It's time for my self care to include a job that's a little more uplifting for a while.
(Will be continued in Part 2)
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