Granny

 This was originally written on my facebook notes on Friday, November 14, 2008 at 4:03am.

Tonight I stopped at Walgreens to pick up a prescription and walking out of Walgreens I was stopped dead in my tracks at one of the displays. On the end of an aisle was a set up of the porcelain Christmas houses. I was reminded of Granny and her house. I suddenly felt as if I was standing in her dining room staring at the different houses and people set up. It was as if I was not standing in the store but for real standing in her house again, to the point that it smelt like her house and everything. For once this week, I had no cares in the world and all my troubles were gone. There was nothing but me, the little people and these houses all lit up with happy people awaiting Christmas time.

Once I realized that I was in fact standing in Walgreens, I was suddenly sad because it was another reminder of how much I miss her everyday. Granny was not only my grandmother, she was my best friend. Many people, mostly my family member, never understood the relationship that Granny and I had. It was special and unique and I think it was because of the mistakes my dad made when I was younger that allowed for this relationship to develop. The fact that I was taken away from her once was enough and she would not allow this to happen again once we were reunited. She made me feel like I was the most important person in her life, but I know that this was not the case, as she made all her family feel this way. It was how she was. During the years that I felt I hated my dad for all that he put me through, she made sure that she was there for me the most and made sure my ties to the family were strong. She never pushed or prodded when it came to my dad and always told me that it would work itself out, and she was right. She never made me feel bad about loving my step dad as much as I do, instead she accepted him as if he was her family as well. She made sure to let him know that she was proud of him when he became sober because she knew that it was important to me, but at the same time, she never made my dad feel bad about losing his sobriety after so many years because it was a choice he made for himself.

Her death was hardest thing I have ever dealt with in my life. It was sudden but not all that unexpected. I was so pissed off at Mo and dad because I didn’t feel I was informed like I should have been. I called them to find out what size sweater to buy her for Christmas while Christmas shopping and they said to not buy her anything because she was in the hospital and not doing well. She had been there for a day already and I was so pissed that I was not called. But now that I look back I am now longer mad because finding out that way caused me to leave the store immediately- meaning I literally dropped everything at a register and drove straight to the hospital and sat and talked with her for hours. During those hours I fought with a nurse because she needed her diaper changed and they didn’t do it in a timely manner. But most importantly, Granny knew who I was and we talked about life. She told me how proud she was of me and how much she loved me. She talked about when I was born and what she felt the years I was gone from her life. She told me stories she remembered about me that I had forgotten. The last thing she said was- ‘I promised I would live long enough to watch you graduate from college and always remember that I kept that last promise to you.’ Then she said it was time to go to sleep and we kissed one last time. I held her hand for almost an hour while she snored like only Granny snored before I left the hospital. I decided not to go to the hospital the next day when everyone else did, which I feel was the best decision of my life. I have heard how horrible it was to watch her take her last breath and that she didn’t recognize people. I am forever grateful for the last day we had forever.



Granny- I miss you everyday and I love you more everyday. I wish that your promise was to stay until we were all married off and had babies. All of us are doing great things and I know that you are watching us very proudly. You have new great-grand babies to play with and weddings to attend this year and another college graduate coming up in a few years. We all miss you!!!